Because we are being audited by the IRS (EEK!) Josh printed out his deployment information from his career so far in the military. He has been gone a total of 873 days! I get so many comments from people about how they would not survive if their husband was gone as much as mine (or at all), so I have compiled a list of reasons that separation is good for a relationship:
appreciation of spouse - I really notice all the things he had been doing around the house once he is gone, and all the things I no longer have to do when he comes back. I find myself saying "thank you" when he takes out the trash or changes a diaper. On the flip side, it is also very nice to be appreciated for all the things I do on a daily basis.
development of personal skills - hobbies to pass the time; I have coached sports, taken up sewing, canning, etc.
independence - knowing that I CAN do everything around the house that needs to be done. I can also set a routine and do things at my own pace.
friendships - the opportunity to spend time with other people and develop those relationships that are nice to have but are not a priority when he is around.
correspondence/communication higher priority - phone calls become very important and exciting to receive, so do emails and video chat. I find myself scheduling time to talk to him, or dropping what I'm doing when he calls; putting my marriage as a top priority, where it should be.
lack of controversy - it's difficult to argue with someone over something mundane when conversations are short and far apart. The time between conversations usually puts things in perspective.
timeframe for goals/resolutions - homecoming is a great end goal to work for. I lost all my baby weight during one separation period by setting a goal and working towards it.
career support - I show that I support my husband's career when I can build a life wherever he is stationed.
asking for help - on occasion, I have had to break down and ask for help. This is a very humbling experience, but it gives other people that chance to serve.
absence makes the heart grow fonder - while separations are difficult, there is no greater feeling than being reunited with the one you love!
Now I'm not saying I like having my husband gone. I definitely love having him around (most days!) but I don't fall to pieces being alone. I had a lot of practice being apart while we were friends, engaged, and since being married.
3 comments:
Amy - great post! When Nathan leaves I make littles lists for myself of things I miss when he's gone.
That way, when he comes home and starts driving me crazy, I can pull out a list and say - oh, yeah, I can't watch scary movies while he's gone... or whatever.
deployments still stink...
Amy you are so great at making the best of every situation :) I'm always impressed how well you do when Josh is away and I can tell your cute little family is complete when he gets back!
i love this post. even though i don't have to go through being alone, it helps me want to build those things no matter what my husband does. and now i know who to call when i need a tire changed ;)
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