I have many sisters, but one has been on my mind a lot recently. We were so close in age, that as children we hated each other, in high school we competed with each other, and when separated by college and marriage we became best friends. We used to send each other packages filled with fun and yummy things that were unavailable at our current location. Despite the distance we kept in contact and knew all the details of each others lives. We shared successes and woes, complained and consoled and basically acted like close sisters. She was my maid of honor and I was the one she told when she eloped.
Gradually, things between us began to change. Our views on important topics began to differ. I found myself biting my tongue instead of expressing my opinion, and I'm sure she did the same. Things like church, family, money and education were taboo. My life was heading in a new direction as I dedicated myself to what mattered to me. Her goals and interests did not coincide with my own. The weekly phone conversations ebbed. I no longer shared everything in my life with her. She got a new job, and I began school full-time. Somehow, slowly, we forgot to keep in touch.
Some days, I miss having a friend-sister. I have plenty of friends, and plenty of sisters. That specific relationship has never been duplicated. I miss having that one person who knows me so well I can tell anything to (besides my wonderful husband!). I miss those reminiscent conversations about people and places and situations from our childhood.
It has been years now since our last conversation. Years since I have heard her voice or received any communication. I have no doubt that I am partly to blame for our separation, but I wonder if someday we can regain what was lost. I wonder if someday she will want to meet my daughter, and be a part of the family again. I hope.
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