A weird day

As the proprietor/engineer/leader of the ward book club, I encourage people to submit book ideas as well as attend the monthly meetings. This month I had lower attendance than usual, with an interesting newcomer. Let's just say there is a conflict of interest with my husband's job... This puts me in a strange position, since the person in question doesn't know what my husband does for a living.
Anyway, I am searching for a peaceful, tactful solution that doesn't involve me being questioned by the authorities. This poor girl didn't know what she was getting into by joining my club!

frustrated and upset

My trial right now is Cub Scouts. At first I thought the hard part would be getting familiar with all the awards, ranks and advancements. Since I obviously have never participated in Scouts before, that part has been difficult to sort out. Regardless, I have plowed through and am getting a better understanding each week. The problem is not the ceremonies, or even the boys. I have a great group, and although it was supposed to be a joint calling, my other half is usually too busy to help out much. Nope, I pulled off a good pack meeting tonight, singlehandedly. With a lot of work and preparation, I had all the achievements ready to award, a fun game, song and cheers. The boys participated and had a good time. My struggle isn't even with the parents. Most of the boys have good, supportive parents who help them achieve their goals.

My problem is the administrative part. I recently completed my first purchase of awards for a pack meeting. Having been asked previously to limit my spending from the budget, I have been just paying out-of-pocket for the few supplies and snacks necessary. To my surprise, I spent over $82 on awards! Chagrined, and hoping to be reimbursed, I submitted my FIRST receipt for these symbols of my boys' achievements and hard work, only to be rebuffed and chastised for spending any money!!

Now, may I ask, what else could I have done? Not purchased the awards my Scouts have earned? Paid for them by myself like I have been doing for everything else? Waited a few months before turning in my one and only request for reimbursement?

I think it highly unfair that I was put in this position to feel guilty about spending money on something that is normal and necessary.

Does it make me a bad person to want to feel some appreciation every once in a while? Or at least more guidance as to what I should be doing?

Maybe I just take things too personally.

feeling helpless

My hubby's brother is deployed to Iraq (again) so he suggested I come visit his wife in Colorado while he is gone. In the past few weeks, her two sons (28 months and 16 months) have both gotten sick, injured, and otherwise visited the emergency room 4 times. Her husband was in a car wreck and lost a teammate, and also his job in the Army. They have moved twice, with the help of neighbors and ward members. Her mother-in-law (who came out to help) has put the family in an enormous amount of debt due to bad choices and refuses to take any responsibililty, as well as being extremely critical of her parenting methods and very unhelpful.
So I am here, doing my best to help and feeling a bit helpless since most of the situation is out of my control. I can play with the kids and cook dinner to give her a break but not ease the stress. I am just praying that things work out with him finding a job and that they can get out of debt.

Big Day

Happy Birthday Allison!

This is us one year ago today. She looks little but Ally weighed in at 8lbs 1oz (no wonder I look tired).

Ally has such a cheesy grin, I have had many people tell me how they can't stop smiling back at her.

Some stats about Allison:

- she confidently WALKS all over the house
- She has 11.5 teeth
- She will eat ANYTHING
- She LABELS all her favorite things (dog, cracker, milk, frog, book,)
- She says a few PHRASES like "I love you" and "all done" and "thank you"
- She loves her mom but Dad is definitely her favorite. Every day he walks in the door, she yells "DADDY!" and makes her way toward him as fast as her little legs can go.
- She loves BOOKS, especially ones with pictures of animals and other babies
- She plays peek-a-boo by covering one of her eyes with her hand.
- She is obsessed with BUTTONS (on shirts, dressers, bathtub, etc.)

My life has definitely changed in the past year. I went from a full-time student with 2 jobs to a full-time mom. I went from the wife of a mechanic to the wife of a federal agent, from SD to ND. I was a teacher for other people's children, now I get to teach my own (I still coach other kids though). My life is very different but very blessed. Now that Ally is a part of it, I can't imagine doing anything else. She keeps me on my toes and I am never bored.

Focus on the positive...

Why do we, as women, judge ourselves so harshly?

Why do we focus on the five pounds left to lose instead of the 35 already lost?

Why do we stress about the one room in the house that has not yet been cleaned?

Why do we feel guilty about the one night this week we had hot dogs for dinner?

Why do we look at others and compare ourselves to them, seeing only the good qualities we have not yet attained?

I think we are inherently predisposed to bettering ourselves. Unfortunately we go one step further, causing frustration and anxiety by focusing on what we have NOT done yet instead of our potential.

My goal this month is to focus on the positive! I will give myself kudos for what I accomplish and recognize the good in my life.

-I will be grateful for the new friends I have made instead of lamenting the ones left behind.

-I will appreciate the beautiful fall colors instead of concentrating on the imminent winter approaching.

-I will congratulate the successes of my daughter's development instead of the thoughts of a past career.

-I will take advantage of the opportunities I have to visit family instead of thinking about the distance between us.

-I will enjoy the challenge of a new calling and the opportunity to grow in an area outside my usual comfort.

-I will recognize my Savior's love and all the many blessings I have in my life.

This will be a great month!

Two looong trips

We traveled to Utah twice this month.

The first trip was planned in advance, for my little brother's wedding. He is now married to a wonderful sweet girl that is adjusting to being a Rollins (it's difficult, we are weird). We flew out for a weekend, attended the wedding, visited in-laws, and somehow also drove up to Boise for a day. First class on the way home, plus another adult to help with Ally made for a nice, if fast, trip. (my 5th trip since Ally was born, my 1st with Josh around)

Us at the temple

The next trip was less than 2 weeks after the first due to my grandfather's passing. He was 88 years old and just beginning to consider moving in with one of his children to be looked after. Since my grandmother preceeded him in death almost four years ago, it was not completely unexpected, but still sad. We drove the almost 20-hour trip in two days, mostly at night for Ally's benefit.

Here we are at a Splash Park in Utah (note the mountains in the background).

My yard in ND (pre-fence)

My yard (half of a fence). And still deer...

The day we left for Utah (the second time), we finished installing the fence to keep our dogs in and the deer out. I have to brag that I did 90% of the fence post installation while Josh was at work, although I needed help with the stretching.

I have been attempting to find my niche since we moved here in June. I feel that I am making progress with the neighbors and people in the ward, as well as other moms at the awesome playland and family area at the gym on base. I finally realised what I had been missing when a mom mentioned to me that her daughter needed a coach for her soccer team.

Ever since graduating from high school I have been coaching soccer, I even ran a program through the Youth Center at my last base for 3-5 year olds teaching the basics. Naturally I jumped at the chance and am now joyfully coaching a 4-year-old team. I love interacting with children and I love sports so a combination of the two is exactly what I needed to feel involved.

People Eating Tasty Animals

Ok this blog isn't about eating animals, I just saw that on a bumper sticker and thought it was worth repeating (sorry to any animal rights activists I may offend).
Ally and I took a last-minute trip to Minneapolis this weekend, tagging along with Josh on his first TDY. The drive was uneventful but the weekend was awesome! We went to the zoo;

Ally pet a goat

and LOVED the prairie dogs (one of her favorite words is "dog" so she had fun yelling that at the little furry guys who would stand up and chitter).

*One of my major pet peeves is when parents deliberately teach their children incorrect things. If an animal is in a cage with a large sign identifying it, don't call it something else! I seriously watched a mom tell her older children to look at the 8 foot tall "duck" in the ostrich cage. Ok it's one thing to call a bison "buffalo" but everything with antlers is not a deer!

We of course also went to the Mall of America, which is HUGE!

This is the middle of the mall, I think I counted 4 roller coasters as well as lots of other cool rides. All the stores (4 floors) surround this central area. It took me about half an hour to walk around each floor, so we spent a good part of the day inside the mall.

MMM Cinnabon. My first job was actually at a Cinnabon. Funny story, I was "let go" because I had an "unacceptable rolling technique" which means I rolled them counter-clockwise instead of clockwise. I still eat them though.

It was nice to get away, I feel somewhat secluded here now that I can't drive out to visit family in one day anymore. I am slowly finding my place here in the ward and on base. The base here actually has some really great programs and facilities that I intend to take advantage of.