How hard is it to just SMILE?

In the Air Force, many people have desk jobs.  A lot of those individuals represent the group of people who support and serve other military members and their families.  In the process of preparing to move, we have been dealing with many of these support personnel.  As a whole, I have been greatly disappointed by the lack of help and service we have been given.  Moving is stressful on any family, but moving overseas complicates matters greatly.  We have had to coordinate things such as packing dates, vehicle shipping locations, passports, regulations for international travel with pets, and storage or sale of many of our possessions.  Throughout this process, I have had a distinct lack of helpful information and friendly faces.  The people who should know the information we need are either unwilling to share or simply take their own sweet time supplying it to us.
I worked for many years in customer service.  I have worked at McDonalds (ugh), Cinnabon, Panda Express, Hollywood Video, and Old Navy.  In each of those places, I found people who took pride in their jobs.  Those who came to work in their uniform (no matter how tacky), on time for their shift, and served customers with a smile.  Those who made it their business to understand and share useful information.  I tried to be one of those people, and for the most part, I think that I succeeded.  I greeted each customer with a smile and did my best to help them conduct their transaction efficiently.
Now, as a 'customer', I am constantly frustrated by those who seem to have no pride in what they do.  I truly believe that working for the Air Force is more important than serving fast food.  People's lives are complicated by inaccurate information and an unwillingness to help, not their lunch order.  As a military spouse, I have been ignored, misdirected, disconnected, given wrong numbers, and treated with indifference.  My best sources of information are friends who are currently living overseas, not the people whose job it is to give me that information.
I feel like I am swimming upstream, trying desperately to get my house and all the paperwork in order, to make the transition easier on my family (hence the blogging late at night).  I simply wish for everything to go smoothly while we begin this new and exciting chapter in our lives.

names

   As a teacher I spent a lot of time in schools and working with children.  Some days I would ponder what causes parents to choose a certain name (or spelling) for their child.  Trying to teach a child to write a long, confusing, non-phonetic name is such a pain!  The one that sticks in my head is "Zjhavese".  Seriously. 
   My other pet peeve is naming a boy child after his father.  I think that family names are important, that's why everyone in a family has the same last name.  A child identifies a lot with his or her name, and is stuck with it for an entire lifetime.  Being named after someone who lives in the same house with you would be confusing at best and could possibly cause problems in the future with things like a credit report. 
   While I was pregnant, I had some fun with my husband, suggesting funny names like Aspen, Apple, Ashley, (Ash Tree, get it?), Cedar, etc.  but I would NEVER submit my child to that torture!  Kids are mean enough without fueling the fire.  However, my husband does have a cousin with the name Douglas Fir Tree.  Seriously.
  

Families

   I grew up in the middle of a large family (8 children).  As a member of that family, I heard many comments from other children at school, mostly crude or negative.  Oftentimes, I felt like I was just one of a crowd.  Teachers wouldn't know my first name, or I would be confused with one of my siblings.  I was referred to as 'one of the Rollins girls'.  As an adult, I admit that I have done the same to children of large families.  I have called them by the wrong name or neglected even learning their first name.  Unless I spend a lot of time with that family, and get to know their individual personalities, I find it difficult to distinguish between siblings.  I know one family with 6 boys and all of their names start with the same letter.  Talk about confusing!
   I had some good experiences as well.  I always had someone to play with, when we moved I still had a whole bunch of familiar faces.  I learned organization, responsibility, and how to interact with others.  I had a lot of quirks teased out of me at home.  I have to admit that at times, I am still embarrassed by my family.  I had days when I wondered if my parents truly wanted me as an individual or if I was just part of the package.
   My husband and I are slowly building our own family and traditions.  We do not have a set number of children we think should be part of our family, but the number is definitely lower than eight.  Some days I feel that I need to defend my choice to have a 'small' family'.  I really feel that some people can handle many children, and I am not one of those people.  My goals for my children are that they always know they are loved and wanted, and I need to have less children so that I can focus more on the ones I have.  Especially with my husband in the military, I have had to be 'solo Mom' for birthdays, holidays, weekends, camping trips, doctor visits, etc.  I HATE being dependent on anyone, even my husband.  When he is around, he is a fabulous part of our family, but I am the one who is constant and manages the day-to-day situations.  As that constant provider, I need to maintain my sanity, so I try not to take on more than I can handle.  I would rather be a good mom to a few children then a decent mom to a lot.
   I spent a lot of time with pre-schoolers who were often neglected or just ignored.  I had children who knew all the characters on Nickelodeon but had no idea what a cow said.  I had children who would wear the same clothing for days in a row.  I had children so starved for attention that they would do anything to win a teachers approval.  I loved these children but hated their circumstances.  I am determined that my children will never be viewed as neglected.  They will have everything they need, including attention from me.
   I have loved spending time with my daughter, teaching her and watching her grow.  We have had a great few years together and formed a bond that will last forever. 

Stress of moving

I have always thought of myself as a 'bloom where you are planted' kind of person.  I moved a lot growing up and never really had an issue with finding new friends or adjusting to a different environment.  Life goes on about the same wherever I have lived.  We eat, sleep, go to school, work, and spend time with friends. 
As I have mentioned before, we are moving to Germany soon.  I like to think that I am pretty prepared for living overseas.  We requested this assignment, so obviously we want to live there.  I actually spent the majority of my childhood in Europe, so I am really looking forward to it.  Living overseas does not scare me one bit.  I have every intention of travelling, learning new languages and soaking up the culture. 
The difference is, that now I (instead of my parents) need to be responsible for organzing the house, scheduling dates, planning and packing, and finding a place to live.  The last one is really stressing me out.  I have heard horror stories of people waiting in a hotel for months and not being able to find a place to rent.  Living on-base is not even an option for us since the waiting list is so long, but I am especially worried about finding a place to rent that is close enough to the base that J won't have a super long commute and that allows pets.  I want a good neighborhood for my daughter and a place where she can start (hopefully German) preschool.  I don't know why I am letting it get to me so much since I really can't do anything about it until we are actually there. 
The best part about the whole situation is that my sister-in-law (who was a realtor in a previous life) and her family, have just moved to Germany as well.  They are stationed at a different base, but are close enough that we will have family to visit for holidays, etc.  Closer than we have ever lived to family since we have been married!  I have high hopes that she will give me all the information I need to make the transition smoothly, and possibly even scout out some homes for us. 
I really have not had an issue with anywhere else we have lived.  I have found jobs, finished college, and started a family while following my husband's career.  I am really looking forward to this next adventure, and I'm sure I will enjoy every minute, once I find a house!

My Baby Can Read

No, I'm not talking about that program seen on TV.  I literally mean that my 2.5 year old CAN READ!

Seriously, I'm as blown away as you are.  I have seen some signs leading up to it, but when she picked up a book (Are You My Mother) and read it to me word-for-word I just couldn't quite believe it.  I waited until J came home from work to see if she would do it for him.  I picked a library book that we had only read once before.  Same thing, reading along the lines with her little toddler finger tracing the words.  Here are some things I attribute to her early reading (aside from my degree in elementary ed):

I have read books to her DAILY from the time we came home from the hospital.
I point out letters and words EVERYWHERE, signs while driving, cereal boxes at the grocery store, etc.
I let her pick the books at the library. 
I take her to Storytime every week.
We play with words, sing songs, and pick out rhyming words.
We line up letters on the fridge, with her puzzles, and on paper.
I trace the words with my finger while reading.
I pick a word from each book to have her 'read' every time it appears.
(and No, I did not purchase that program.  I oppose it on educational grounds. I also have not pushed her beyond her interest level.)

Apparently I have passed on my love of reading to my daughter (Success!).  Now if only she had inherited my teeth...two years old and already a cavity =(

Amy's Religious Rant

* I am LDS, if anyone reading this wants to know more, check out lds.org.  If you are not my same religion, a lot of my pet peeves might not make any sense to you.

-Go to chuch.  Every Sunday.  Unless you are sick in bed, just go. It's where you are supposed to be.

-Sing when you are supposed to sing.  Seriously it only sounds good if we can drown out all those enthusiastic tune-deaf people there.

- Fulfill your calling.  You said 'Yes' and someone is depending on you to do your calling.  If it were a job you were getting paid to do and you just didn't show up, you would get fired.  All the people working together help things happen each Sunday.

-Don't try to socialize at church.  Sunday meetings are for learning and discussing religious things.  I am ok with the occasional "Oh, your hair looks nice" or "Wow you look great from all that exercise" but don't have serious long conversations in the hallway about personal business.  That is what phones are for. 

-Don't complain about not having enough time to socialize.  If you are not happy with the extra activites being offered, be proactive about it.  When I moved into the ward, there was no book club, so I started one.

-Don't come to church once every 6 months and then get offended when nobody knows who you are. 

-Don't depend on the church members to support you if you are not willing to help in return.  I have no problem giving service, but if it's for the same person over and over again with no reciprocation, it gets old fast.

-Don't ask about how many children people are planning to have! Even the church teaches that family is between a husband and wife. 

-The chapel does not have assigned seating, switch it up a little!

-If you have taken time from your life to learn to play the piano, either embrace it or sell your piano!  Pianists are always needed (except in my last ward, who had a self-playing piano in the RS room).

-Start your talk with something besides "today I was asked to talk on..." or "when the bishop called me, I almost didn't answer the phone..." and "if you look up repentance in the dictionary, it says..."

Once I had a sister...

 I have many sisters, but one has been on my mind a lot recently.  We were so close in age, that as children we hated each other, in high school we competed with each other, and when separated by college and marriage we became best friends.  We used to send each other packages filled with fun and yummy things that were unavailable at our current location.  Despite the distance we kept in contact and knew all the details of each others lives.  We shared successes and woes, complained and consoled and basically acted like close sisters.  She was my maid of honor and I was the one she told when she eloped.
Gradually, things between us began to change.  Our views on important topics began to differ.  I found myself biting my tongue instead of expressing my opinion, and I'm sure she did the same.  Things like church, family, money and education were taboo.  My life was heading in a new direction as I dedicated myself to what mattered to me.  Her goals and interests did not coincide with my own.  The weekly phone conversations ebbed.  I no longer shared everything in my life with her.  She got a new job, and I began school full-time.  Somehow, slowly, we forgot to keep in touch. 
Some days, I miss having a friend-sister.  I have plenty of friends, and plenty of sisters.  That specific relationship has never been duplicated. I miss having that one person who knows me so well I can tell anything to (besides my wonderful husband!).  I miss those reminiscent conversations about people and places and situations from our childhood. 
It has been years now since our last conversation.  Years since I have heard her voice or received any communication.  I have no doubt that I am partly to blame for our separation, but I wonder if someday we can regain what was lost.  I wonder if someday she will want to meet my daughter, and be a part of the family again.  I hope.